• Who I've Been Hates Who I've Become

    By: Kristen L. McNulty

    Reprint rights available on request. Email the author at kristenmcnulty@hotmail.com.

    Relient K has a song that is titled "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been", but sometimes don't you feel the reverse, that who you've been hates who you've become?

    As Christians we experience a remarkable life change when we come to know Christ as our saviour, but that doesn't take us out of the running when it comes to trials, temptations, doubts, and disappointments.

    Sometimes there are days when we look in the mirror and can't recognize the face staring back at us. And when we arrive at this place, this crossroads, we have a decision to make.

    Are we going to ignore our conscience and run full steam ahead down a road that we know is leading to destruction? Or are we going to humble ourselves before God, confess our sin, our fears, our doubts and our disappointments and ask for His help in experiencing real change? That is what we are instructed to do in James.

    James 4:7-10: "So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up in honor."

    You want change in your life? Those verses in James are the formula. Humble yourself before God and instead of letting the gap exist and grow, draw close to Him and He's going to draw close to you. Instead of giving the devil free rain, resist him and he's going to flee. Let yourself experience sadness over what's happened as you humble yourself before God, but here is the key- don't stay there! As we're told in that verse when we humble ourselves before God, He's going to lift us up in honor. And when He does, Satan is going to want nothing more than to keep you down in self-condemnation- be aware and choose not to go there!

    The truth is, God is a God of forgiveness and grace. 1 John 1:9 says "But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."

    That verse doesn't say that God only forgives some people and you are not one of them. It doesn't say that if this is confession number 299, you're out of luck. The verse says that God is faithful and just to not only forgive our sins, but cleanse us when we confess!

    Remember that God loves you, mistakes and all. If you've come to a place in your life where who you've been hates who you've become, know that you don't have to stay there. There is grace, love, and forgiveness waiting for you, just a prayer away.

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