• When We Don't Agree

    By: Kristen L. McNulty

    Reprint rights available on request. Email the author at kristenmcnulty@hotmail.com.

    If you turn on the TV you see it there as one talking head on the news is arguing with another. If you open Facebook, you see it there too as people are locked in online wars of words. What is the it I'm referring to? Arguments. We've got the liberals debating with the conservatives. We've got those who took the COVID vaccine battling it out with those who didn't. We've got the military supporters ironically fighting with the pacifists. And in the church? Oh my, the list of issues we get caught up in arguments over is a mighty long one. Which is surprising because while it is easy to get caught up in fights, it's the exact opposite kind of behaviour that we as believers should be exhibiting. Let's take a look at what Paul had to say on the subject over in 2 Timothy chapter 2, starting at verse 14:

    Instruction from 2 Timothy 2


    "Remind everyone about these things, and command them in God's presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them." 2 Timothy 2:14


    And then again in verse 16,

    "Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior." 2 Timothy 2:16


    And finally he revisits the point in verses 23 to 26,

    "Again I say, don't get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil's trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants." 2 Timothy 2:23-26


    Avoiding These Kinds of Conversations and Confrontations


    What I find interesting in these verses is it doesn't tell us to go ahead and argue, but do it respectfully. No, it tells us specifically "a servant of the Lord must not quarrel". Which means you and I should be avoiding these kinds of conversations and confrontations completely and instead do as these verses instruct us and that is to be patient and gentle with others. 

    When we don't agree, we can respond by accepting someone's right to hold an opinion that's different from our own and leave it at that. We don't need to form our own convincing committee and hound them until they change their minds. 

    Because I don't know about you, but more often than not in my own observations I've rarely, if ever, seen an argument end well. When two people are locked in debate and emotions are running high, not only is it very easy to end up sinning against one another, but it's rare that either party will ever change the mind of the other party, so we have to ask ourselves: what is the point? 

    In the grand scheme of things is it a dealbreaker if one person believes we should sing only hymns written long and the other believes we should sing the latest song released? Do we need to endlessly debate it, trying to convince someone else to look at the issue the same way we do? According to Romans 14, no. Romans 14 teaches us that there are issues of conscience that will arise in the church and not only are we to follow our own conscience in that area, but we are called to not look down or condemn anyone who thinks differently on one of these issues than we do. I highly recommend reading through this chapter of scripture as it highlights how we should navigate these issues and spoiler alert: it doesn't tell us it's our job to make someone else's conscience match our own.

    So What?


    So what if you feel you should get dressed up for church and I'm sitting one row over in my hoodie and jeans? We know that God looks at the heart, so you need to follow your conviction and I need to follow mine without judging or condemning the other whose heart we can't see into.

    So what if you voted for one party and I voted for another? No where in the Bible do we see any importance placed on political party. It's not our job to become spokesmen for a party, but it is our job to work together as believers and to speak for Christ and to love others like He does.

    So what if I got vaccinated and you don't want to? The kingdom of God isn't not divided by vaccination status and so who are we as believers to get so caught up in it? You follow your conscience, I follow mine. We don't need to debate about it but we do need to work together for the Kingdom.

    God created us all uniquely and it's very rare that we find another person who is going to agree with us 100% of the time on 100% of the issues, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is how we respond when we encounter those who we don't agree with and what will our choices be when we do? Will we choose to argue until we are blue in the face, desperately trying to make the other person see things just the way we do? Or will we put aside our need to be right and instead abandon any argument long before it begins? Choosing instead to treat others with patience, gentleness and love. And choosing instead to build up those around us instead of tearing them down.

    Closing with a few verses from Romans 14, starting at verse 17:

    For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you, too. So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up." Romans 14:17-19


    Return To The Impact Devotional Archive