The Alternative To Complaining
By: Kristen L. McNulty
Reprint rights available on request. Email the author at kristenmcnulty@hotmail.com.
It seems like everywhere we go, we hear complaining or negativity. Traffic is too slow. Taxes are too high. Parents are too strict. Bosses expect too much. Life is unfair.
We hear these conversations all around us and when we log on social media, this takes on its own toxic form. Just take a look at our news feeds. Day after day, post after post, we are quick to complain about all the things wrong in our world or in our lives. Then we turn on the news to hear only more of the same kind of negativity. Instead of looking for the good, we amplify the bad and many of us have made a hobby of turning our complaints into anthems we broadcast everywhere we go.
The Problem with Complaining
But the problem with complaining is, people who dwell on complaints tend to turn into complainers and complainers tend to turn into people who are ungrateful and ungrateful people tend to turn into people who don’t give God the thanks, gratitude, and ultimately, the worship that He deserves. And that’s because by amplifying our complaints, we lose the ability to see blessings.
Instead, we turn into cynics who no longer believe the best about people, see the best in life, recognize the ways we are blessed, or even keep an open mind in faith of what God can do. Rather, we turn into people who see the world through a lens of negativity that, with time, completely filters out beauty and hope and possibility that exists in the world all around us and can be seen when we choose to look.
This state doesn’t stay confined to the person who complains, instead their negativity can poison the people around them and can seep into every area of our lives if left unchecked.
Not The Way It's Supposed To Be
This isn't the way we should speak or we should think. In the book of Ephesians we are encouraged to,
Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29
When we are caught up in complaining, we become the opposite of encouraging, we are instead discouragers who bring down those around them. And who wants that to be said of them? I don't know about you, but when I walk into the room I'd rather people think "here comes Kristen the encourager" rather than "oh no, it's Kristen the complainer."
And I get the temptation to complain. Really, believe me, I do. My life doesn’t always go to plan. There are things God has allowed in my life that I wish were removed. Just recently I ended up in the middle of a giant mess that was of someone else’s making and I had no choice but to deal with an outcome that I didn’t ask for, didn’t want to be involved in, but had no choice but to go through and deal with. But I’ve discovered that complaining doesn’t change that. In my forty years on this earth I've learned that the only thing complaining has accomplished in my life is turning me into a miserable person who could no longer see God on the move because my eyes and my mind were locked on my complaints. But I’ve made changes. And you can make changes too. We have the ability to turn our habits of complaining and negativity into habits that foster an attitude of gratitude. Because gratitude is the alternative to complaining and it is both life-giving and worship-inspiring.
Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father." Colossians 3:16-17
Instead of Complaining
So instead of complaining that the price of gas has gone up, thank God for blessing you with a vehicle and a job that provides you with the money you need to pay for your gas and vehicle repairs.
Instead of jumping on the bandwagon of complaining about how badly a job you think the government is doing right now, give thanks for the ability you have to live in a country with the freedom to both protest and to vote.
Instead of complaining about what your church lacks in your opinion, thank God for the freedom you have to worship with other believers and roll up your sleeves and get to work at your church, pouring your time and energy into the people and the mission there.
Instead of complaining about your boss and how hard he or she seems to make your life, thank God for the blessings that come with that job and let Him use you in the place and in that situation for His purposes. Who knows, God might have put you there to be a witness to that boss and your coworkers as you do your work without complaint and with a good attitude.
Instead of complaining about the diagnosis you live with, thank God and praise Him for how He helps you along the way, for the medical team you have that supports you, and ask Him to use your presence in waiting rooms and doctors offices and hospitals to shine your light for Him.
A life of thanksgiving
Because as the Bible teaches us, we are called to live a life that is the opposite of complaining and instead filled with thanksgiving.
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Be thankful in all circumstances, because it’s God’s will for us. Convicting but so true. Notice the verse doesn't say only be thankful in the circumstances you want to feel thankful for, like when you get a raise or when a decision goes your way. It says to be thankful in all circumstances. Meaning when the car doesn't start, when you lose a friend, when you receive the diagnosis, when your boss is giving you a hard time, when life circumstances are stressful.
The truth is, we don’t get to decide what happens to us but we do get to choose how we handle it and choose whether we let it turn us into ungrateful people who complain nonstop and live with negativity. Or we can choose to be thankful and grateful. Not only is it what it is what we are called to do as believers, but by doing so, life becomes a lot more enjoyable. Complaining about one thing can easily turn into complaining about everything which is the recipe for a pretty miserable life.
Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Philippians 2:14-15
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